Things I Actually Said to My Son When He Was a Kid

  1. (At age 2) “Put down that crowbar”
  2. “You’re the best kid ever. Except for Jesus.”
  3. “Don’t be on fire.”
  4. “Go chainsaw nine more people and see what happens.”
  5. “Call your dad and tell him he has to come home because I’m stuck to the carpet with a fishing hook.”
  6. “No, it’s not an umbrella. But it is a raincoat.”
  7. “Good thing you’ll be filming it when you light your friend on fire. That way they can use it as evidence at the trial.”

My Favorite Survivors So Far (Not counting Jeff Probst since he isn’t a player but is obviously the best Survivor ever)

  • Cirie
  • Stefanie
  • Boston Rob (although I hated him the first two times)
  • Cochran (call me… seriously)
  • Tina
  • Makayla
  • Russel Hantz (for real)
  • Rob C
  • Rupert
  • Ozzy (especially the first time)
  • Malcolm (sealed forever by the triple idol play)

Things I Love About Late Summer

  • Cooler nights
  • Fresh sweet corn
  • Sleeping with windows open
  • The first red leaves
  • Late night thunderstorms
  • The drone of cicadas in the late afternoon
  • Still wearing flip flops
  • Boots and sweaters at the stores
  • Back to school supplies
  • Clearance sales on cute tops
  • Grapes
  • Planning for fall & winter holidays
  • Bonfires
  • Going to sleep with bonfire smoke in my hair
  • Fields polka-dotted with hay
  • Thick green ravines dripping with heavy air

Image result for late summer

Short Poems I’ve Written

  • a place of my own
    sunlight settling
    dappled on my deck
    pale drops puddling
    across worn wooden slats
    solace and solitude
    and peace
  • ABCDenial
    absolutely everybody (except for those who knew)
    believed the lie (even when forced to dodge the truth)
    choosing to turn an eye (blind, of course)
    downcast in humility (however false it is).
  • Shelter
    Do you remember that day
    bruised sky and
    us with no umbrella?
    Splash dashing to the treeline
    and huddled laughter
    while you reached your jacket over
    us like a soggy canvas cover
    to shield me from the unlikely event
    of a tree branch falling on my head,
    and even though
    we knew
    it was so silly,
    for those few moments I honestly believed
    that your love
    was all I needed.
  • Solitude
    solitude becomes me
    it calms my heart
    it slows my speedcar thoughts
    yellow flag flapping in the wind
    telling me to take it easy
  • Meanwhile
    I have intended for some time
    to get on with this thing called my life
    but meanwhile living
    keeps getting in the way.
  • Dessert
    hot sun breathing on my skin
    you, the sprinkles on my cone
    dripping delicious trails across my fingers
    i lick you up
  • Sentiment
    Dry those wasted tears
    Shore up your unstable heart
    Love’s horizon glows
  • Happy
    Laughter dances in his eyes
    Smile plays upon his lips
    Joy is heard in every sigh
    Happy words and clever quips
    He winks, he grins, his heart is light
    Just the way he used to be
    Loves shines forth and all is right.
    Too bad it isn’t still for me.
  • Red
    feasting on tomorrow’s steak
    with a gleaming bottle of History at the table
    and though it ought to be bitter
    it goes down smooth with a
    surprising bite
    right at the very end
    so pop the cork and pour the wine
    wrought from my own vineyard
    of experience
    each grape a drop of pleasure
    from a past i should regret
    but don’t
  • Road Trip
    in the center of my universe
    standing ground
    looking round
    full tank of gasoline to get me
    anywhere
    everywhere
    away from here and to somewhere
    but where is there
    and there is where
    so many roads snake out from here
    i don’t know
    where to go
    every road untraveled in my life
    but for the one
    i’ve just been on
    how do i know which one to take
    greener grass
    doesn’t last
    i guess the choice is up to me
    spin around
    moving ground
    pop a licorice stick in my mouth
    signal on
    and i’m gone

My Top Ten Most Viewed Posts of All Time

  1. Famous People Whose Name Starts With X, Y, or Z (2012)
  2. Flowers With Difficult Names to Spell (2013)
  3. Acronyms I Will Be Teaching in the Lifeguard Course That Begins Tonight (2012)
  4. Animals That Start with the Letter I (2013)
  5. 19 Reasons to Celebrate My Son’s 19th Birthday Today (2012)
  6. Favorite Orange Flavored Things (2012)
  7. Best TV Shows of the 90s (2012)
  8. Presidents With the Letter Y in Their Names, More or Less (2012)
  9. Twenty One Reasons to Smile Today (2015)
  10. Favorite Types of Village Inn Pie, in Order of Preference (2012)

Image result for orange

September Shaping Up (The month in movies, music, & literature)

Movies

  • Come September
  • See You in September
  • Septembers of Shiraz
  • Until September

Music

  • It Might As Well Rain Until September
  • A Lonely September
  • Blue September
  • The Late September Dogs
  • Maybe September
  • Pale September
  • September Morn
  • September Song
  • September When It Comes
  • The 12th of September
  • Wake Me Up When September Ends