Category Archives: Humor

Dating Sites That Should Exist

  • JustFriends.com – For the people who will never Define the Relationship
  • JustMemes.com – Match through memes
  • IDKMaybe.net – For people who aren’t sure yet if they are ready for a relationship
  • DamagedGoods.com – Must apply through a therapist who has worked with you through multiple life crises
  • ColdFeet.com – Accepting applicants who stay strong in a relationship right up until the time to make a commitment
  • FlirtWithMe.net – For outside-validation junkies, no requirement to ever reply
  • WeirdFlexBro.com – Profiles must include a minimum of three awkward brags
  • BeMyBlessing.org – For those who will over-spiritualize your meeting
  • TryingToPretendImOkay.com – People who will not let you know about their deepest problems until it is way too late
  • DeepConversations.net – People who will ONLY tell you their deepest problems as soon as you connect
  • CuffingSeason.org – Specializing in relationships designed to last October/ November through January
  • HippyDays.org – People born before 1970 who haven’t changed their hair or style since then
  • YesIAmFlippingYouOff.com – The people on this site are not surprised when you are flipping off the camera on your dating profile
  • NoRealPix.net – Profile must be made up exclusively of photos of your motorcycle, animal you’ve killed, memes, or food (Profiles containing only photographs of your children will be accepted on individual basis)
  • GuessWho.com – All photos include multiple people, at least one of whom is attractive and one of whom is not
  • NoD***Picks.com – Service automatically forwards any unsolicited photos to original poster’s mother / wife / sister / etc
Woman's Hilarious Captions on Classic Paintings Illustrate Just How  Frustrating Men Can Be

Weather Conditions I Prefer Over Snow

  • Warm sunshine
  • Sunshine when it’s raining
  • Overcast days
  • Crisp autumn afternoons
  • Rainy spring mornings
  • Thunderstorms
  • Early summer
  • Blazing sunsets
  • Balmy beach days
  • Blustering windy days
  • Super hot Santa Ana winds
  • Monsoon season in the Phoenix valley
  • Literally anything not snow or ice related
Image may contain: tree, plant, outdoor and nature
First snow of the season 🙁

I Bought Stuff to Make a Big Salad (but now I want a burger instead)

  • Mixed greens & spinach
  • Avocado
  • Multi-colored bell peppers
  • Green onions
  • Cashews
  • Mandarin oranges (I prefer fruit juice instead of dressing)
  • Shredded cheese (multiple flavors)
Salad fixings

Lessons I Should Have Learned The First Time

  • When riding a mower under tree branches which probably contain spider webs, keep your mouth closed.
  • Speak up. Silence is usually implied consent.
  • If you think “It’s okay if I leave it a mess because nobody is going to come in,” you are probably wrong.
  • In times of stress, simply surviving to the next day is enough to accomplish.
  • Clear your phone before you hand it to a family member.
  • When someone hands you their phone to see something, only look at that one thing.
  • Delayed gratification is part of adulthood.
  • Skip fried foods.
  • Don’t believe everything you think in the middle of the night.
  • On road trips, use a bathroom every time you stop.
  • The nearer the equator, the more sunscreen you need.
  • Don’t back down when you know you are right.
  • When someone slimy takes advantage of a situation, remember that it is a reflection of them and not you.
  • Trust your instincts. If you feel like your boss is out to get you, he probably is.
  • A stack of books to read is a happy reminder that you have things to look forward to.
  • There are many types of “love”. Love freely, but recognize the differences.
  • If he only compliments you when he’s drinking, he doesn’t really feel that way.
  • Always pack an extra outfit in your carry-on.
  • If you’re flying through Atlanta, give yourself a minimum of an hour layover. And that is probably still pushing it.
  • If the movie is boring, walk out. It’s not going to get better and your time is worth more than the ticket.

Maya Angelou Quote When Someone Shows Who They Are, Believe Them ...

Things I’ve Been Putting Off For No Good Reason

  • Getting a pedicure
  • Planning my next vacation
  • Writing a book proposal for the Cali series
  • Picking a paint color for the downstairs bathroom
  • Karaoke
  • Vacuuming my car
  • Getting my library card renewed at the new location