Category Archives: Humor

Humor, Music, Words

Song Lyrics I Have Misunderstood

  1. Let The Sun Shine In:  Proper lyrics “Smilers never lose and frowners never win”
    What I heard:  “Mothers never lose and fathers never win.”
  2. Bringing in the Sheaves:  Proper lyrics “Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in the sheaves, we shall come rejoicing bringing in the sheaves.”
    What I heard:  “Bringing in the sheep, bringing in the sheep…”
  3. If You’re Gonna Play in Texas:  Proper lyrics “When a cowboy in the back stood up and yelled ‘Cotton Eyed Joe!’ ”
    What I heard:  “When a cowboy in the back stood up and yelled ‘Hot Nacho!’ “
  4. Checkers commercial:  “Get your feast on, feast on.”
    What I heard:  “Get your keystone, keystone.”

    Hot Nacho!!
Brands, Favorites, Humor

Reasons I Switched from IE to Chrome Last Week

  1. Got tired of IE taking forever and ever to load
  2. IE crashed every time I tried to load Facebook Scrabble
  3. That stupid yellow bar that popped up constantly
  4. When I asked on FB for advice about how to stop IE from crashing, the overwhelming comment given was to switch to Chrome
  5. My son has been telling me to switch for years
  6. When I finally tried it out of frustration with IE, Chrome loaded about 10x faster.
  7. It imported all my bookmarks and even my favorites bar
  8. Google is tracking everything about me anyway, so why not make it easier for them
Holidays, Humor

Why St. Patty’s Day Was Awesome This Year

  1. My new “Feeling Lucky” / Lucky Charms t-shirt
  2. Joining the 20,000 people at Kelly’s Irish Pub & Eatery that day (Literally, they announced the number at the end of the night.)
  3. Skydiving Leprechauns
  4. Walking under tall people
  5. 1000 people singing “Living On a Prayer” at the top of their lungs
  6. The camraderie in the line for the women’s bathroom
  7. Green beer
  8. Screaming to talk to your friends
  9. Late night Village Inn
  10. Having my BFF in town

Family, Humor, Survivor

Most Interesting Texts in my Inbox

  1. “You text like a 2nd grader” – from my son Caleb
  2. “I’m behind the trees”- from KM
  3. Picture text, bicep tendon surgery – from RL
  4. Picture text, baby quilt, “R just finished Grace’s quilt!! It’s AWESOME!” – from SP
  5. “PS  Is this picture of pi make you want to come here sooner?” – from my 10 year old nephew AR
  6. “I had yeetg pilled aboug 30 monitrs ago. I cznt” – from another employee I’d texted about working
  7. “Teeth. Pulled. So many drugs.” – the next text from the same employee
  8. “Which part of the story? The resolution. If you meant store, I’m headed toward the front.” – from honorary son AD
  9. Picture text of handwriting, “What does the word ‘hearing’ say about me? I feel like I’ve been doing crazy stuff to my g’s lately which has to mean I’m secretly a lunatic.” – from KB
  10. “I just watched Survivor. Those women are STUPID!!” – from RD
  11. Picture text, aluminum cooking pot, “At IKEA buying pot” – from JD
  12. “We gage all the babies.”   followed up with  “I mean, we are on the way” – from Caleb
  13. 3 texts in a row:  “What?”  “Really?”  “This could be the stupidest move ever” – texting with my sister while watching Survivor
  14. 2 texts in a row: “What the f…?  They need to get rid of Colton.”  “Stupid!!!” – texting with JK during Survivor
The "pi" referred to in #5

Family, Humor, Travel

What I Would Do With a Million Dollars

  1. Give half of it to the government for taxes, whether I like it or not
  2. Fund friends and family members who are around the world serving God
  3. Pay off student loans
  4. Pay for my son’s college education
  5. Buy beachfront property, preferably in Maui
  6. Fix all the dents and dings with my 02 Trailblazer and give it to my son
  7. Buy a new hybrid SUV or crossover
  8. Travel – go back to Hawaii and Alaska, road trip the continental U.S.
  9. Travel – visit the aforementioned friends and family around the world, plus some other places
  10. Take care of family and friends
  11. Hire a housekeeper
  12. Invest in my son’s future music career
  13. Invest a very sizeable portion of the money in my long-term retirement funds
  14. Get the expensive work done that my dentist seems to think is necessary
  15. Buy a DVR in order to record Survivor
  16. Take the extended family on a fabulous vacation
  17. Set up a fund to consistently finance Team Wendy and Wendy’s Butterfly Garden
  18. Annonymously pay off friends’ mortgages