- haircuts
- guard suit – H2Owear
- contacts
- contact lens solution
- coat
- library fine
- car tag $206
- virus protection for laptop
- life insurance due
- shampoo & conditioner
- oil change
- dentist bill
- shaving cream
- Shim’s book
- glasses
Category Archives: Humor
Bugs I Have Known (But not enjoyed)
- Box elder bugs
- Ladybugs
- Asian beetles
- Roley Poleys
- Crickets (Almost my least favorite)
- Grasshoppers (My least favorite ever)
- Velcro Ninja Beetles (which is what we called them at camp but I don’t know their real name)
- Mosquitoes
- Black flies
- June bugs
- Shad flies
- Silverfish (also known as those horrible antenna-y things)
- Centipedes
- Roaches (as opposed to…)
- Sewer roaches
- Fireflies
- Butterflies
- Caterpillars
- Moths
- Ants
- Fruit flies
- Termites
- Aphids
Most Popular New Year’s Resolutions Which Have Already Likely Been Broken (according to no scientific research but my own imagination)
- Stop eating junk food
- Visit gym daily
- Visit gym 3 times a week
- Visit gym once a week
- No more smoking
- No more gossip
- Meet neighbors
- Be involved in child’s school
- Volunteer time for good cause
- Call mother once a week
- Read a new book every month
- Finish project X
- Organize garage / attic / basement
- File taxes early
- Leave work on time every day
- Leave work on time at least once a week
- Leave work on time once in a while
- Reduce alcohol intake
- Start Christmas savings fund
Ways to Get From Here to There
- Drive
- Walk
- Skip
- Fly in an airplane
- Fly on a hang-glider
- Parachute
- Hop
- Jump
- Pogo stick
- Roller skate
- Roller blade
- Skate board
- Ski
- Snowshoe
- Horseback
- Elephant
- Train
- Trolley
- Rickshaw
- Horse drawn carriage
- Stage coach
- Motorcycle
- Scooter
- Paddle wheel boat
- Row boat
- Barge
- Sail boat
- House boat
- Motor home
- Helicopter
- Snowmobile
- Bicycle
- Unicycle
- ATV
- Riding lawnmower
- Run
- Waltz
- Climb
- Crawl
- Crab walk
- Duck walk
- Bear walk
- Walk like an Egyptian
- Raft
- Swim
- Sashay
- Tip toe
- Stomp
- Leap
Earwigs
- Sweeeet Caroliiinnee… dum dum dummmm
- Leavinnng … on a jet plane…
- My bologna has a first name
- It’s a small world after all, it’s a small world after all….
- Play us a song, you’re the pianoman
- Just a Rrhinestone COWboyyyy
- Sinnnnnging in the raainnn, just siiinnggiinng in the raaiiinnn…
- I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family
- Wash your hands after going to the bathroom (which is apparently a regional PSA)