Category Archives: Humor

Humor, Least Favorites

June Bugs (and other icky things)

  • wasps
  • monsters
  • psychopaths
  • lies
  • slithering worms
  • dead worms
  • rotten fruit
  • raw chicken
  • hairy spiders
  • mean people
  • waking up early
  • politicians (most of them anyway)
  • rejections
  • boogers

Humor, Social Media

Advice to Men Designing Online Dating Profiles (From a woman also on online dating)

  • Smile. For Heaven’s sake, why do men think they look better without a smile.  Seriously. Smile.
  • Be yourself. We can tell when you are trying to say what you think we want to read.
  • Post a picture already.  Of yourself.  Not your dog, your motorcycle, your favorite team logo.
  • If you must include a grown woman in your photos, it better be your mother or daughter, and you must explain it.
  • Do NOT include any other grown women. At all.
    • Don’t mention her in your profile.
    • Don’t caption about her in a picture where we couldn’t even tell there was a woman.
    • Don’t post a picture with her clearly cropped out.
  • One serious picture is okay. The rest should include smiles.
  • If you are going to start the conversation, make it more than “Hi”.
  • Also “You are gorgeous” is not an acceptable opening line.
  • And “U R Cute” is not cute at all.
  • If the other person initiates the conversation, answer with more than 2 sentences.
  • If you want a conversation to continue, ask a question.
    • Not “how are you?”
    • Not “what u doing?”
  • Put some effort into your profile.
  • Did I mention SMILE?
Humor, Words

Words that Sound Like Words They Are Not

  • Mussles
  • Site
  • Rite
  • Deer
  • Capital
  • Adolescents
  • Weigh
  • Fax
  • Aural
  • Hare
  • Mourning
  • Lei
  • Lickers
  • Quartz
  • Mail
  • Dependents
  • Genes
  • Ewe
  • Waive
  • Wail
  • Handmaid
  • Caret
  • Heel
  • Colonel
  • Knead
  • Tacks
  • Quays
  • Mrs.
  • One
  • Hour
  • Gnu

Image result for colonel kernel

Food, Humor

Stuff in My Refrigerator

  • 3 bags grated cheese
  • 1 box “place and bake” cookies — spring chick design
  • 1 “Freshly” chicken caponetta meal
  • 1 bag mini carrots
  • 2 cans Pillsbury Grands biscuits, expiration date Feb 22, 2017
  • 1 opened bottle Kraft Sweet Honey barbecue sauce, expired June 20, 2016
  • 1 bottle “Sierra Nevada Torpedo” leftover from a party last year
  • half a box of baking soda
  • 1 unopened can of Sanpellegrino Clemntine juice, expired July 17, 2016
  • 3 full and 1 partial sticks butter
  • 1 bottle spray butter
  • 1 barely used 2 liter bottle of Sprite Zero
  • a quarter jar of salsa
  • partial package tortillas, expired August 22, 2016
  • 1 bottle hydrive energy water
  • 1 jar minced garlic
Books, Food, Humor, Social Media, Survivor, Television, Travel

Things I Wonder

  • Is it better to dry my clothes on medium for a longer period of time, or high for a shorter period of time?
  • How do I use the keyless entry code on my car?
  • When will Raven find love?
  • Have Nick and Vanessa already broken up?
  • When does Bachelor In Paradise start?
  • What caused my ankles to suddenly swell a few months ago and to suddenly stop swelling a couple weeks ago?
  • What’s the name of a good dentist in town?
  • Who put the Ram in the Ramalama Dingdong?
  • Can a person live on citrus alone?
  • Can Sandra possibly win Survivor again?
  • Exactly how much does Alexa hear while sitting on the kitchen counter?
  • Why did Brad’s wife get fired from Cracker Barrel Old Country Store?
  • When will it officially be sandal weather?
  • What novel should I read next?
  • What is a good cheap beach where I can spend a few days?
Kam III beach on Maui