- Potatoes
- Rice
- Pasta
- Bread
- Donuts
- Ice Cream
- Cheese
- Pastries
Foods My Doctor Thinks I Should Eat Less Of
Category Archives: Least Favorites
Five
- Fifth try’s a charm
- Five’s a crowd
- Five to tango
- Five faced
- Dress to the fives
- Cast the fifth stone
- Double fives
- Gone in five seconds
- Five for the road
- All in five pieces
- Back to square five
- Five birds with five stones
- Working five to five
- The only five for me
- Five of a kind
- It’s five a.m. I think I’m lonely
- Getting the fifth degree
- Love potion number 5
- In fifth heaven
- On cloud five
- Those five little words
- Five too many
- Five is enough
Reasons to Get Out of Bed In the Morning
- To use the bathroom
- Because you’re hungry
- The kids need to get to school
- Your boss expects you to report
- Vacation starts today!
- Your video game is waiting downstairs
- Friends are coming over
- Shopping list
- Coffee
- A project needs done
- Because there are people to prove wrong
Differences Between Crocodiles and Alligators
- Alligators have rounded snouts
- Crocodiles have longer snouts
- Crocodiles tend to be more aggressive
- Alligators are usually dark green or black
- Crocodiles are larger, sometimes weighing up to 1000 pounds
- Alligators, on average, weigh 500-700 pounds as adults
- Crocodiles are usually longer too, about 4-6 feet extra
- Alligators jaws close downward
- Crocodiles jaws close from the bottom upwards
- Crocodiles have sharper teeth
- Alligators have rounded teeth
- Alligators can live in colder climates
- Alligators are much faster
- Alligators will see you later
- Crocodiles will see you after a while
How Job Hunting is Like Dating
- In the beginning you’re choosy, but eventually you hand out resumes the same way men use Tinder: Swipe right on everything.
- Your friends tell you their success stories so you start to believe you just might find the perfect match.
- It’s all about the networking. But that’s exhausting.
- Most of what you find isn’t even slightly attractive.
- What looks good also looks out of your league.
- Everything that seems interesting ignores you.
- When anyone gives you the slightest bit of attention you get giddy, even when you can clearly see they are not right for you.
- Meeting in person for the first time is nerve-wracking.
- You buy new clothes for that first meeting, even though this is the first time you met so how would they know if the clothes are new or not but you do it anyway.
- After your meet up all of your friends want the deets but really all you can say is “I don’t know. I guess we’ll see.”
- After a couple weeks of radio silence you realize you’ve been ghosted.
- Half the time you get 15 minutes into that first meeting and you think “Eh, is this really the best option I’ve got?”
- In general, the process stinks.
